he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
