i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
