Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
