so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
