She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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