can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
