There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Couch. On fire.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
