I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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