Don't make out with my wife yet
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
