make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
