come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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