i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
this just has baby written all over it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's never too late to be topless.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
