Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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