i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
