I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
