Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
