Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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