I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
