just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
i think i just lost a toe
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
