Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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