just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
