Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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