we're blogging at a bar
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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