He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
