To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
