I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
