you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
