Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
