So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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