Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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