He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Terrible idea I love it
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
