Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
