You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
pray to the hookup gods
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
