Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you win again, gameday.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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