We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
