I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Come see our sink grown plant.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
