After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
