I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You dont lie about slip and slides
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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