I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
her vagine was all disorganized.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
