I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
