Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize