I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
