Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
