Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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