haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
