I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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