I puked a lego.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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