my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
