We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
