Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I deserve this hangover.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
